


Say something (never again)

by midnightswans



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 09:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8157031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightswans/pseuds/midnightswans
Summary: Drabble inspire in Jen's short "To Dust Return" with some changes.





	

“Where’s… Where’s my baby?” She asked with a broken whisper when she saw Whale and Killian enter into the white room she was resting after giving birth to a little boy in the  emergency room. The last one with his vision lost on the wall.

For some strange reason Emma was grateful that Whale was her doctor. After all, he knew the family baby records of this city and he has been with them for the last eight months of her pregnancy, even before they came to him to ask for help when they were trying to get pregnant.

Her mother got up from the seat that was on the right side of her bed. She also saw her dad was standing in the doorway of the room leaning against the doorframe with tearful eyes and actually red eyes and nose.

Killian and David went to talk with the doctor while her mother stayed with her even when Emma knew she wanted to listen to everything Whale said about her grandchild, but she prefered –for Emma’s sanity- to stay with her just like the last 10 hours since they arrived to Storybrooke’s Hospital with Emma bleeding between her legs.

Whale looked at Killian, waiting for him to try to explain to her what happened with their lovely baby that they were waiting for more than eight months, because they were waiting for him at least for a year and half. “Swan… I… The baby… ” But nothing come out from his mouth. Not a single word.

Emma _knew_. She really didn’t need someone to tell her the news. She already knew.

Letting out a big sigh and moving closer to the bed, Whale started “We did _everything_ we could, Miss Swan. Sadly, the fall hit were too strong for him to handle it”

The hit. The fall. The hit. The fall.

She _did_ this.

She _killed_ her own baby. Her own son.

Who on Earth would hang some stupid picture over a crib when they’re 8 months pregnant and too big to see your own feet?

Stupid Emma.

“Swan” She heard her husband calling her and feeling some pressure on the left side of the bed. She really didn’t know why but the wall in front of her suddenly looked so cool and amazing when her hand just traveled to her tummy as if still was a baby there.

She felt her mother on the other side of her trying to give her a hug and whisper words. She really didn’t care right now.

Actually she was kind of grateful to her dad when he took Snow out of the room while saying “Let them have their moment Snow”

“Swan…” Hook repeat with a broken whisper that made her looking at his eyes “Please, say something love”

In those blue –beautiful- eyes were tears fighting to go out and fall.

“I killed him” She whispered, trying for some sense at her word. How can a mother kill her own baby? She understood giving up a child to give him his best chance, but kill him? She would never choose that, never in a million years.

“No, you didn’t Swan” He repeat putting his hands on her face to make her look at him “This, is no one’s fault, he just…” He swallowed before continue “He just wasn’t for us”

And she broke.

She started crying, trying to understand why them, how hard they both have been fighting for their happy ending. After all the things they both had lived through in all those years, all they wanted to do was start a family and just live the white picket fence life in Storybrooke.

And all Killian knows to do is hug her. Hug her like his life depended on it, because in part, his heart was Emma’s heart, the pain is the same, in the same level.

Why isn’t being happy in the savior cards?  

“We will get over this, love” He said crying too, trying to hold her more tightly if that was possible. “At least we know he is with Liam. He will take care of him like he was his own.”

“Killian, I didn’t want your brother to take care of him” She continue crying and sobbing feeling how her heart broke in millions parts “ _I wanted_ to take care of him, _I want_ to watched him grow up, I was supposed to give him everything, the moon and stars if he’d asked me to and now…” She cry harder trying to hug her husband more tighter if she could

“I know love, I know”

“I couldn’t even take care of him while he was inside me”

* * *

The worst part was when they entered the baby’s room.

Emma collapsed in Killian’s arms at the second she put her foot there, minutes after she was telling him that she will be ok, that nothing will happen to her when she enters the room.

It was really bad.

Entering the room was the worst idea ever. The crib, the toys and the picture.

 _The fucking picture_.

“Take that picture away. Burn it” She said with cold voice that Killian doesn’t have second thought on taking it away.

Her hand traveled to her belly again and she curse some words for having this new habit to put her hand on the baby that doesn’t exist anymore, while sitting on the rocking chair that Geppeto made for them.

She didn’t know how long she stayed there or when she fell asleep, but in the morning she was in her own bed with Killian next to her, hugging her from the back and the sound of the TV in the background.

On her night table was the last sonogram of their son.

Last because there’s no more baby.

Because of her.

It was her fault.

“Swan, it wasn’t your fault love” She heard him whisper behind her while she felt the hug tighten.

“Hmm?” She asked trying to see his face.

“I said, this, what happened to him, it isn’t your fault. Please love, take that idea out of your head” he whispered closing his eyes when their forehead touch each other.

“It’s just…” She let out a big sigh before continue “Every time I think something is working out for us, something happens and we just have to re-build everything again. And I don’t think I can handle it anymore Killian. Like I said so many times before, everyone can have an happy ending but the savior. It’s ok I guess”

“Well, I don’t think that it’s entirely true, love. I just think we have a cloud over our heads. You’ll see when the sun comes out. We will have our happy ending” He repeated before giving her a kiss on her forehead.

They stayed in that position for God knows how long until Emma spoke again “Killian.” He just gave a mumble. “I don’t want to have any more kids”

“Ok, love, it will be just you, Henry and me, then”

* * *

 

(Two years later Emma give birth to their twins)

(Of course their name are Liam and Hope)

(The family goes every Sunday to see little Frankie at cemetery)


End file.
